Becky's Topshop Adventure - Part Deux

Hello blogosphere,

Here, with tiny fanfare, is part deux of my Topshop diffusion line experiment. You'll note the use of French 'deux' to amp up the classiness: we're going to need all the classiness we can lay our hand on, lemme tell ya. Lot of unslightly flesh is going to hit your screen on the scroll down. It's a shame really because there really were some amazing pieces in amongst the cellulite display items.First off, let us examine Marios Schwab. There's been a lot of buzz on the blogs about his A/W 2008 collection just shown at London Fashion week because as usual it was uncommonly ace. I have to admit I'm fairly unimpressed with the overall tone of the fashion weeks thus far (New York in particular was too beige to bother about) as the overall mood seems curiously muted and curiously joyless. Not so of Schwab who used Charlotte Perkins Gilman's classic short story The Yellow Wallpaper as the chief inspiration for his collection.

First off, let us examine Marios Schwab. There's been a lot of buzz on the blogs about his A/W 2008 collection just shown at London Fashion week because as usual it was uncommonly ace. I have to admit I'm fairly unimpressed with the overall tone of the fashion weeks thus far (New York in particular was too beige to bother about) as the overall mood seems curiously muted and curiously joyless. Not so of Schwab who used Charlotte Perkins Gilman's classic short story The Yellow Wallpaper as the chief inspiration for his collection.

My three favourite looks from the collection. Background text from The Yellow Wallpaper.

If I were a proto-feminist, locked in her bedroom going loopy at the decor, I'd want to be wearing one of these outfits. The story's all about the imprisonment of Victorian patriarchy, repressed sexuality, decay and madness and these outfits really do communicate something of the story. I'm really interested in the idea of a woman in 2008 choosing to imprison herself in clothes that physically restrict her (apparently the draping was so tight that some models could only hobble up the catwalk). They're sexy dresses in modern cuts and though the lycra seems to be laying waste to the rotting brocade 'wallpaper' fabric, I'm not sure what Schwab's trying to say: can bondage ever be an empowering choice? Is the wallpaper rotting away because we're beyond the strict patriarchy it represents or hanging on each garment because we can never entirely escape it? I'm not sure and you should make up your own mind: click here to read The Yellow Wallpaper - you won't be sorry.

Marios Schwab - Topshop (£75)

Nothing like a strapless skater dress to bring out the preening gormless modelface in a girl. I adored this outfit and felt enormously sexy. It was barely even a concern that the stiffness and cut of the fabric meant that I couldn't raise my arms beyond what you see in the pictures. This is certainly not a garment to wear whilst shelf stacking but it does continue the pairing of Marios Schwab and self-imposed bondage. It wasn't an uncomfortable garment, just a deeply impractical one. I felt beautiful but like I was meant for A Doll's House. Lucky for me I'm too poor to even think of purchasing it so I can leave the post-feminist dilemma for women in higher pay brackets. Problem solved.

Wrap shirt (£65)

Love the colour and theory but hate the practice. Way too transparent to wear without a vest and not clinging enough to be flattering. I much prefer the way I styled it below.

Clasp Dress (£100)

Another gorgeous idea and an execution that just doesn't work for me. I found it impossible to get into this dress without a steady-handed other to do up the teeny little side buttons which is why it looks so ill-fitted. The awesome clasp idea sorta fails because the elastic causes all the plastic clasps to kind of twist and collapse into the small of the back.

Ladeez & Gents, let's have a warm welcome back to our old friend the panty-line!
Yeesh.

So: a lot of admiration for the ideas in the Topshop collection and big love for the mainline, but I just can't get behind paying upwards of £70 for a hint of bondage and a heap o' knickerlines.


Tailoring - Richard Nicholls and Todd Lynn

I'm a little nervous about my Todd Lynn jacket pics, chiefly because Queen Michelle of Kingdom of Style has already modelled hers and frankly I'm not nearly as Irina Lazareau hot as she is. Still, if you'll ignore my bug-eyed office vibe:

Todd Lynn Tuxedo Jacket (£85)

My grandad liked this picture. That's all the validation I need.

Richard Nicholl ruffle dress

Not a lot to say, except maybe underwhelming, or dear god, can't Topshop see its way to providing a fucking slip with their hundred quid dresses? It's cute but it's £15 cute, not £85.

Horrifying Trousers o' doom (£65)

These buggers were size 14 (the largest available) and didn't have a hope in hell of fastening around me. I know I'm hardly a string bean but it's a little crushing to know that I'm too large for the largest size available in the diffusion line. Lucky for me they were the epitome of PVC lined hideousness so I didn't mind too much. I'm too busy enjoying my Petit Bateau bobble scarf.

Wigmore modelling Richard Nicholls, gut.

The horror. The horror.

You think that's the worst picture you're gonna see? Oh, sweet naive blogosphere, we haven't even got to the skintight knitwear yet.....

Louise Goldin
Let me just say in my defense that this dress was a Medium which I assume is an 8-10. I knew it would look awful but I loved it so in the magazine and wanted first-hand footage of the feel of the dress, so I bit my lip down to the viscera and tried it on.

Icicle Dress (£95)

I am well aware of my resemblence to a tubby extra in a Esther Williams movie. This caused my family much hilarity when I showed them. I am never visiting those people again. Let's hit it from the si-ide:

Ow! Turn it around, girl!

Yowzah!

I tried on this next dress almost solely because of its awesome name

Alien Prom Queen Dress (£95)

This dress is a Large, hence the better (but by no means ideal) fit. The reason I look so happy is that I'm about to lay my eggs in my date's chest cavity.

Equally unflattering on the sides and bum but at least I feel spiritually closer to Natasha Henstridge.

Ah, to French kiss a man and shatter the back of his skull. I do so love fashion.

Well, blogosphere, that’s it. This is by no means the entire range but I tried to give you an overview and at least three different facial expressions. I hope you enjoyed yourself. I’m going to sit and rock myself into a shame spiral until 8pm when me and Tor will conduct an intellectual discussion on this year's Oscar fashions. I will document said discussion on this very blog. *sigh* I miss Cher so much.

I’m off for a minty tea – see you in an hour.

Becky.

Becky's Fashion Fieldtrip - Part I

Hello blogosphere,

Apologies for my long absence. I'm currently doing a Masters degree and apparently they require work or something. I don't know - it's certainly not the reason I signed up to artschool. You wouldn't have liked me anyway - I had dissertation hair.

At this present moment I am holed up in my grandparents' house in Ashford, Kent (home of L'Eurostar to Paris super-station-of-the-future and not much else). This would be by-the-by were it not for the fact that to get to Ashford from Norwich, you have to detour through London.

Oxford Street Topshop during London Fashion Week? Oh, I think I will.

I was especially keen to brave the sweaty scary flagship because the blogosphere has shown such interest in the Topshop diffusion ranges by Christopher Kane, Marios Schwab, Richard Nichol et al. I was determined to go in and actually physically try on their ranges - after all, http://www.topshop.com/ is all very well but it doesn't give you anything close the visceral pleasure (or not) of donning the gament. I took 46,000 pictures and all at horrible angles. These I present to you in the spirit of sartorial honesty.

NOTE: I am a Size 12-14 (that's a US 8-10) so all dresses are in that range. Additionally, though the online store is currently out of stock, the flagship is chock full of chiffony diffusion goodness, so don't worry about your particualr darling selling out. Everything'll be re-stocked online soon and don't let unscrupulous e-bay sellers tell you different.

Christopher Kane #1 (£120)

God, Christopher Kane, as if your A/W 08 collection wasn't aces enough, you have to go and make me look like a medieval sex wench of infinite power and leather-bodiced wisdom. I adored this dress for it's flattering cut at the waist, the acknowledgement that women have boobs and oh! sweet jesus-may! the swathes of material on the arms and hips. I felt so glorious that for a second I ready to star in one of those sexed-up historical novels. You know the ones you read secretly as a teenager? The ones with heroes called Thor and a bunch of cracks in the spine that designate the special passages?

"Take me, Thor," she husked

Christopher Kane #2 (£120)

Sarah Silverman's comedy, right, is ace. One of my favourite lines of hers goes something like: "I don't care if you think I'm racist, I just want you to think I'm thin." Same kind of deal here. You can judge me all you like for my stupid pouty model face (I swear to God, I can't control it - it moves over my features like a disease) I just want you to notice how slender this dress makes me appear. Again, I love the wench-y corsetry working against the denim of the bodice. The skirt is suitable whoosy and flowing and I adores the waistcoat detailing at the back. The Christopher Kane dresses both get an enthusiastic thumbs-up from the Wigmore. I wish I could have tried on the entire Kane range but there was no time - my sister was calling me up and getting pissy "When are you getting on the train? Are you still in Topshop?" and those changing rooms are so oppressively hot and the female hormones so palpably high that it felt like all the world like I was standing in post-menstral 'Nam. I wanted to acheive breadth, not so much depth so I moved on to the Jonathan Saunders collection.

Jonathan Saunders Dress (£75)

Now, initially this looks like a bosoms ahoy! dress and I am all for that kind of garment, especially ones with nice slim-cut arms. However, the jersey used is shockingly, indecently thin and the casual observer better be ready not only for my jelly but also eyefulls of undies and each individual buttock.

This dress is suitable only for the very skinny as it lovingly display every inch of excess flesh. It is also an ideal dress in which to show your public the exact nature of your arse crack. If you dare enlarge the picture below you'll be treated to the sight of my trmebling white heiney shining like a beacon through the fabric. Can you imagine what would show through in a flash photograph?

Sorry. Cripes. And sorry again. I decided not to try on any more Saunders dresses what with them being made of the same fabric and what with dignity being at a premium. I comfort myself that no at least the online shopper knows the nature of the beast and can proceed with caution. I really needed cheering up however, and so I looked to Peter Jensen, who's always good for a shot of whimsy.

Peter Jensen dress (£75)

It's amazing. Completely unflattering on my arse with all the ruffles but an absolute tonic to wear. I felt like a 1930s circus performer and I pranced and jiggled and had a lovely time. I thoroughly recommend wearing something unflattering if it makes you feel this good. Karl would disapprove but that Belgian's got issues with blubber up the yin-yang. Embrace it all, I say! Perform your juggling act! Jiggle away!

COMING NEXT POST:

Becky samples: Louise Goldin, Marios Schwab, Todd Lynn and Richard Nichols.

Prepare for neon and tailoring issues.

Love,

Becky.

Liberal Media Conspiracy (plus ruffles)

Hello blogosphere,

Bloody The Guardian, bloody The Observer. I tell you there's nothing more pathetic than a grown woman with flu speedwalking the streets at 6.30 on a Sunday eve, glistening with snot and desperate to find one newsagent open that still has an Observer on sale. Usually, I wouldn't touch it or even think of putting myself in such a situation - the only good bits of The Guardian are Charlie Brooker and the Book section and I can read them online - but I was on a mission for fashion.

Now, as I've said before, The Guardian/Observer is also almost comically shit for fashion but, on my daily click to Style Bubble, I was greeted with news of February's fabled Topshop Diffusion range with Christopher Kane, Marios Schwab, Jonathan Saunders et al. More than news, friends - scans from the Observer Woman supplement. Much undignified soiling occurred.

However, I grew anxious - what if Susie Bubbl;e had only shown us an edited look at the page? I must! I must! see the whole thing, I cried! I rang round my hippie liberal friends to see if any of them had bought The Observer and disgustingly, none of them had. This includes Tor, by the way, who lists her political leanings on Facebook as "Very Liberal". No Observer on Sunday, Tor? Very Liberal? Hah! You are "Very LIES" and now everybody knows.

After a cold spasm-y run, I retrieved my prize from my favourite newsagent that never closes - Sunday trading laws can go to hell! Victory and glory await! I thought as I slumped on the sofa. But no. The shitty magazine and its shitty cheap paper gave us only 5 exclusive items and I had seen them all online. Susie Bubble has already scanned them but I'm doing it here on principle, because I bought the bloody bastard arse-face thing:

Top row,
Ugly ass glitter blazer with pockets that makes a mockery of all that is good and pure (£65)
Leather hooded jacket by Christopher Kane for Topshop (£250)
Grey Bodice front dress by Christopher Kane for Topshop (£85)
Bottom Row
Ruffle Dress by Richard Nicholl for Topshop (£75)
Black skirt with leather bodice belt by Christopher Kane for Topshop (£95)
Black Dress with Awesome Coloured Panel by Jonathan Saunders for Topshop (£75)

As always, click the pic to make it big. You'll enjoy better detail and the chance to see just how see-through the paper Observer Woman prints on happens to be. Scandal.

A publication with thicker shinier paper is in order, I think. February's British Vogue had the thoughtfulness to give us a catwalk supplement which held photographs of each of the Topshop Diffusion designers with their chosen model wearing one of their Topshop outfits. It's not much but it's at least a glimpse of the fabric texture:

Marios Schwab w/Clemence Posey
Hey, Schwab. Nobody spoons with Fleur Delacour except Bill Weasley (That was a courtesy to you, Harry Potter geeks - I had to look that shit up). It's a big shame we can't see more of the denim coat dress she's wearing. This is the only Marios Schwab for TS image I can find and I'm a bit disappointed with this, especially considering his dazzling insect-y S/S 08 collection .


Todd Lynn
Hmm. Shiny high street tuxedo jackets. It'll all depend on the quality of the material....Shirt's cute, however. Love me a pleat.


Louise Goldin
OB-sessed. I want this dress with my whole heart. Look at those dainty straps! Look!
It says here that this dress is supposed to be instore already....hm. No-show at topshop.com. Worrisome.



Christopher Kane
His little face. It's a nice close-up look at the jacket featured in the Observer spread - it looks a lot classier when you see it up close. I'm also delighted Sir Kane chose a girl who isn't a very slender nymphy model type. It's just like when he dressed Beth Ditto for Fashion Rocks. He's ace that way - now if only Browns.com stocked his main line in a size above 10...


Richard Nicoll
Very cute little dress in the pinstripe and although the ruffle design is somewhat similar to a Viktor & Rolf for H&M dress, the chiffon lifts it into a slightly more elegant, less whimsical place. Looks so much better than in the Observer picture, right? Right.

So there you have it. I am spent, visually at least.

Becky's picks:
The Christopher Kane bodice dress (no duh) - CK cuts for my body and I am well up for a little kinky medieval action.
Jonathan Saunders dress - Just because I think I deserve to wear the colours you see when you look at the sun too long.
Louise Goldin dress - Did you not see it? It's so rare the high street customer gets access to that kind of flair with colour. Gotta jump.

Okay, so let the donations and charity car-washing begin!

Your pal,
B.